Even when you work hard at keeping your Re-Solution, let’s be honest, self-sabotage can still happen. Below are two tips to keep you moving forward.
End Sabotage –If you have wanted to solve this Primary Focus challenge for a while, then you have habits and attitudes that don’t support your goal. Those old habits hold you in your current place, which you want to leave behind! Pay attention to what has been sabotaging your progress. Make a list of activities or beliefs/thoughts that distract or stop you from what you know you need to do, or be.
Being alert and aware of both your external actions and your internal conversation is the key to breaking the old patterns when the sabotagers show up.
Identify a positive alternative thought or behavior for your top 3 sabotagers (hot tea instead of snacks for me). Focus time and energy on being proficient with the alternatives. Forgive yourself when you slip, and quickly realign with your plan (see below). Beating yourself up mentally and emotionally for a mistake is a primary sabotager for some folks.
With practice, the positive alternatives will eventually replace the sabotagers. If your sabotagers are particularly stubborn, hire a professional coach/counsellor to help you identify your resistance or blocks, and to clarify your positive alternatives.
Make a Plan – Like any project, you need a plan to succeed with your Primary Focus. For each Chore, Learning, or Changing Pattern component (see previous blogs in this series for more info) build in distinct recognizable and measurable milestones or accomplishments that track your progress. Set specific, achievable, intermediate goals for yourself with dates and deadlines. I needed bite size (pun intended!) goals for weight loss of 2-3 lbs at a time. Waiting to achieve 10 or even 5 lbs as a check point was too big for me to stay motivated. I paired that with a goal of 3-5 exercise events per week – including gym visit, or exercise class, or golf, or walking.
Don’t assume you have to do everything alone. Hiring a professional personal trainer made a big difference for me. Involve a respectful and trusted friend or family member as an accountability buddy to keep you on track and motivated. A book or organized program can provide helpful structure and support. Include your coach(es) in developing objectives and tracking progress for your plan to achieve your goals.
This is your opportunity to achieve your Re-Solution, it deserves as much attention as any work project you undertake. Keep up the good work!
In the next blog, I’ll share how to weather setbacks and celebrate your success!
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